The Continuing Stories Of Chuckles and Smudge – EPISODE #1.
Guest appearances by:
Benny; Slink; Squiz; Krim: Lynden; Cluff: Dish and Gynah – the Albino Twins; Waggs; Pooty; Smarky; Slush; Peeks; Sluice and Squish.
“I live in that solitude that is painful in youth but delicious in the years of maturity.” – A. Einstein
Your typical New England College campus. Fall. November 24th, 1971.
Two friends, Chuckles and Smudge, meet outside the Main Campus building presenting a massive flight of concrete steps – at the end of a beautiful Fall night – the stars shining brightly – a tinge of Arora Borealis lights… greenish blues and white streaks combined in a reverberating hue, across the Northern night sky.
Chuckles: “Hey Smudge – What the fuck man? You digging this?”
Smudge: “CHUCKLES – DA MAN! HOW YOU DOIN?!”
Chuckles: “Let’s do something. Let’s traverse. Let’s move. Let’s get down on it – somewhere! I need a road trip! YOU?”
Smudge: “I don’t know man. I just got out of night class, I’m tired and I have to finish this semester man. A road trip could be dangerous – my parents would have a royal flushing conniption.”
Chuckles: “Nonsense. It’ll be the best thing for you. Besides, this place is rated the 3rd worst place to live in Maine, Northern Lights or no. You wanna die young here!? NO WAY THE FUCK MAN… We need to “broaden” our horizons… man. We need to assert ourselves – our time has come. We need to alter ourselves and our courses – get the kink out man. Differentiate. Expand. BECOME VARIEGATED MAN!”
Smudge: “Holy shit man – you be doffing vocabs – awesome. Yeah – but my mind is all gnarly and shit – you know?”
Chuckles: “There you go – I’m just what the doctor ordered – I call for a prescription of veggin-out with organic herbs and shit, man.” (Chuckles digs out a joint from his pocket)
Smudge: “Oh my god – Dr. Chuckles MAKES US FLOAT AGAIN!”
Chuckles: (while lighting up and sucking a toke – then passing it to Smudge) “Listen – (holding his lungful a bit and exhaling slowly while talking) You never know what could be in store for you – no – for us – if we just find the “Van” and then – cruise it – man! We either follow the lights or go West Young Man!”
Smudge: “Well, you’re gonna to have to do more than just one joint Doc.” (as he ends up Bogarting the Puffer)
Chuckles: “Dr. Chuckles has the thing for you. Listen – I was over at the union and talking to two extremely white loaded female type persuasions. They think my idea is ballsy and beyond something confirmed in my confirmation plans man. They’re thinking hard on it. If you get my drift. It’s like a disease or something man – we’re all getting ants in our pants. They have pockets full of the ‘Rents’ money, and just, well, wet-sauced and boiling over, wanting to escape in total high-pitched freedom of thought and rejecting their ‘gnarly’ solitude-ness. They’re screaming from their vagina’s. This, of course, made me thickly tumescent and my junk – sweating forth man…”
Smudge: “Yeah you look sorta pasty blue from your stomach down to your fully loaded junk pockets – not that I’m looking at your junk or anything. So – how much money does the bag lady have from the Rents? AND MORE IMPORTANTLY – what are their names?”
Chuckles: “Unlimited man. Infinite! AND, they want us to see who else is in and start planning at their dorm suite tonight – after mid-night. We be talking: Dish and Gynah – Nymphs of the Crystal Blue Sea.”
Smudge: “OH MY GODDESSES OF THE UNIVERSE – NO WONDER THE LIGHTS ARE BOUNCING IN THE NIGHT-SKY!!!
Chuckles: “Yes – repertory jiggling and swaying – 24-7. And give me my dope stick back – geesh, man…”
Smudge: “Totally man – Totally – What is this shit? 3 tokes and I’m totally baked man. God.”
Chuckles: “WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY!!!?”
Smudge: “YOU’RE RIGHT – TIME FOR THE E.R.! HOLY SHIT!”
Chuckles: “SHHhhh! – someone’s heading up the hill – we gotta split.”
Smudge: “Have balls – will travel. Let’s pack it and take flight…”
THUS – Chuckles and Smudge head toward the girls dorms, trying to look cool and not over-baked – popping gum quick and heading in opposite direction from threat of detection.
To be continued…
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